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Thursday, December 19, 2013

Fw:Jokes that can be told in church...



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Subject: Fw: Fwd: Jokes that can be told in church...
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Subject: Fwd: Jokes that can be told in church...

-----Original Message-----
From: Ally Howell <ahowell8@stny.rr.com>
To: Ally Howell <ahowell8@stny.rr.com>
Sent: Wed, Nov 20, 2013 4:14 pm
Subject: Jokes that can be told in church...

 
  Two  boys were walking home from Sunday school
  After  hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One  said to the other, 'What do you think about
all  this Satan stuff?
The  other boy replied, 'Well, you know how
Santa  Claus turned out.
It's  probably just your Dad.'
 

 
~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Attending  a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered  to her mother,
'Why  is the bride dressed in white?''  The  mother replied, 'Because white is the color
of  happiness,
and  today is the happiest day of her life.'
The  child thought about this for a moment then said,
'So  why is the groom wearing black?'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A  little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running
as  fast as she could,
trying  not to be late for Bible class.
As  she ran she prayed,
'Dear  Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please  don't let me be late!'
While  she was running and praying, she tripped
on  a curb and fell,
getting  her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She  got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!  As  she ran she once again began to pray,
'Dear  Lord, please don't let me be late...But please
don't  shove me either!'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three  boys are in the school yard bragging about
their  fathers.
The  first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words
on  a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,
they  give him $50.'
The  second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles  a few words on piece of paper,
he  calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The  third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles  a few words on a piece of paper,
he  calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to
collect  all the money!'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

An  elderly woman died last month.
Having  never married, she requested no male
pallbearers.
In  her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service,  she wrote,
'They  wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I  don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A  police recruit was asked during the exam,
'What  would you do if you had to arrest your own
mother?'
He  answered, 'Call for backup.'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A  Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph  and Mary took Jesus with them to
  Jerusalem  ..
A  small child replied, 'They couldn't get a  baby-sitter.'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A  Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five  and six year olds.
After  explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy
father  and thy mother,' she asked,
'Is  there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat  our brothers and sisters?'
Without  missing a beat, one little boy answered,
'Thou  shall not kill..'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

At  Sunday School they were teaching how God
created  everything, including human beings.
Little  Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told  him
how  Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later  in the week his mother noticed him lying
down  as though he were ill,
and  she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little
Johnny  responded,
'I  have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have
a  wife.'
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~


You  don't stop laughing because you grow old..
You  grow old because you stop laughing!
Take  heed and pass these along to people who
need  a laugh.
I  thought you would enjoy this....times are tough
right  now...for all of us...
so  we need something to make the day a happy
place.
 


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